:: ZLife ::

:: Sunday, April 27, 2003 ::

I will be watching Wrestle Mania 9 now. I like it cause it entertains me in a silly way. maybe my inner beast likes to watch it...:o (may be I wanna beat the s*it out of everyone who is lucky...)
:: Zia 10:47 PM [+] ::
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Today in the afternoon, I went hystirical. I guess its the result of living alone. 26 years of my life, I never spent more than 1 or 2 hours alone except the fact that I was sleeping. I was always surrounded by people. People that loves me. People who would die for me. Although I used to spend most of my time in my room, every now and then I used to get my mum's febulous cooking treats, or maybe my nephew coming and asking something or maybe somebody screaming at someone downstairs or something or the other is happeing around the house or my friends/my loved ones kept me always busy with their attention and love. I guess that never made me feel what is loneliness, how ugly loneliness can be. I thought I was always alone and i can handle this... But thats wrong. I wasn't alone. Now, when I don't get to talk to anyone for about 72 hours, then I realise what treatment I got from those who loves me... I think I got to realise that I am helpless without them... Thats why maybe I went more lunatic today....
:: Zia 10:44 PM [+] ::
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I think I am bored. :(
:: Zia 12:48 PM [+] ::
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Morning realisation - yes, let me call this my morning relisation :). Right when I got up from sleep, I realised that I have only ONE reason to keep hanging on to this Lah Lah Land (Singapore).
:: Zia 11:21 AM [+] ::
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Another day of my life ends. What have I achieved today? NOTHING!
:: Zia 12:13 AM [+] ::
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Look, if you had one shot, one opportunity
To seize everything you ever wanted
In one moment
Would you capture it or just let it slip

-- Eminem (Loose yourself)

I think I will go capture it now... ;)

:: Zia 7:03 PM [+] ::
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I like the line "Success is my only mothafuckin option, failure's not" in the "Loose Yourself" song of Eminem. Thumbs up Eminem, you're my mothafuckin GURU. :)

:: Zia 7:01 PM [+] ::
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Yesterday, when I was about to finish my office day with a smile, something just pissed me off so badly that I could feel the heat around my ears when I was in the bus. All along I had this stupid notion in me that people are born to help other people out. Other people who you don't even know much. I had this beliefe that if I continue to do that then that makes me a better person. Well, at least I got myself convinced that there is no harm doing that. But, today I realised that may be I should not help them unconditionally. Maybe, I should use them. Or, on the other hand, maybe I should not at all expect that I would get something in return from them. But, all I wanted was a little gratitude, a little acknowledgement from them which would make them more humane than ever. Later, I got to realise that maybe its supposed to be in this way. In the path of mysterious life you and me will be helping others all the time. Maybe, we were born with this f*cken quality of helping others without f*cken expecting anything in return.
:: Zia 6:49 PM [+] ::
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Just realised that I have to take control of my own life. Somehow, this fooking life is treating me null. Every now and then I get deprived of everything that I want in my life. If I scream and say "NOT FAIRRRR", that s*it just keeps coming back at me. Rambling, ain't I? Well, this place supposed to be for rambling around. ".tihs ym ,ekil tnod uoy fi kcid ym kcus nac uoy oS".
:: Zia 6:39 PM [+] ::
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Just finished installing, configuring and updating the new windows in my laptop. Phewww, that was one tidious job that I hate. But, didn't have any choice. 'Cause the lappy was full of garbage and it was getting the famous "Microsoft Blue Screen of DEATH" too often. Now, have to start the 2nd phase, installing the programs I need regularly. I think I will do that after a hot bath and some rest and of course with a hot cup of coffee. Till then, Adios folks.
:: Zia 4:58 PM [+] ::
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