What is is. Perceive It. Integrate it. Act on it. Idealize it.

	Leonard Peikoff
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I/O, I/O, 
It's off to disk I go, 
a bit or byte to read or write, 
I/O, I/O, I/O, I/O

	Dave Peacock
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Will: "Roses are red, 
       Violets are Blue.
       Jazz and I are black,
       But, Carlton, what are you?"

	Excerpt from "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air"
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And the top story for today: wives live longer than husbands because they
are not married to women.

	Colin Mochrie in "Whose Line is it Anyway?"
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Let others praise ancient times; I am glad I was born in these.

	Ovid (43 BC - 18 AD)
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I'm sexy, I'm cute, I'm popular to boot. 
I'm bitchin', great hair, the boys all love to stare! 
I'm wanted, I'm hot, I'm everything you're not.
I'm pretty, I'm cool, I dominate this school. 
Who am I? Just guess. Guys wanna touch my chest. 
I'm rockin', I smile and many think I'm vile. 
I'm flying, I jump you can look but don't you hump.  Whoo! 
I major, I roar. I swear I'm not a whore. 
We cheer and we lead - we act like we're on speed. 
You hate us cause we're beautiful but we don't like you either. 
We're cheerleaders. We are cheerleaders!

	Excerpt from "Bring it On"
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An algebra teacher is discussing a problem with a student. The teacher
says: "Now, suppose x is the speed at which the train is travelling...". 
And the student says "But teacher, what if x is not the speed at which
the train is travelling?
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The Shibber Factor

Keep all the grades of the students who passed the test as is, and 
convert the grades of all the students who failed to 54.
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"God is Dead"

    Neitzsche 

"Neitzsche is Dead"

    God

( writing on a toilet's wall )
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A serious and good philosophical work could be written that would consist
entirely of jokes.
	
	Ludwig Wittgenstein
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The difference between a bad student and a good student is that a bad
student forgets all the material five minutes before the exam, while a good
student five minutes after it.

	Hugo Krawczyk
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[Isaac Newton falls off the tree]

Cho-Cho: Did the fall hurt you?

Newton: It wasn't the fall; it was the sudden stop at the end.

	Excerpt from the T.V. show "Histeria!"
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Let others praise ancient times; I am glad I was born in these."

	Ovid (43 BC - 18 AD)
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Beware of bugs in the above code; I have only proved it correct, not tried
it.

	Donald Knuth
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> "It's not because they have suddenly converted to Stallmanism."

> Anyone else misread that as "Stalinism"? 

The word "Stalinism" is deprecated, the correct term is "GNU/Communism".

	Spotted on Slashdot
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Personally, I'd have a far better time writing scripts if I had some more
creative shells to script in...

ASMsh: The Assembly shell. Commands include MOV, SHL, SHR, JNE, etc.

shellTM: Turing machine shell. Only four commands. Read, write, move left,
move right. Capable of producing any programming language imaginable, given
enough time and nerves of steel.

GeneSH: Four commands. G, A, T, C. Need I say more?

Qsh: Only uses one environment variable, which contains all possible values
simultaneously. Method of scripting: isolate the universe in which the
desired result is already accomplished, and intersect with it.

Of course, I never said they'd be easy to use. But then, if these shells
existed, and I knew a sysadmin who used any of them, you can believe
Sysadmin Day would be a far more celebrated holiday. 
    
	The Night Watchman on a Slashdot Comment
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We're on a mission from God.

	The Blues Brothers
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It may look like I'm just sitting here doing nothing, but I'm really 
actively waiting for all my problems to go away.
